Life as we now know it...

We attended a breakfast with the other special needs kids and they had Santa there. Cait would NOT sit on his lap. She didn't even want to be near him. Poor kid.

Results of your
Attention Deficit Disorder Quiz

You scored a total of 89

It is highly likely that you are presently suffering from adult attention deficit disorder, according to your responses on this self-report questionnaire. You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional immediately.

Yes, IMMEDIATELY was in bold on the page.

Time -- one 4 letter word with so much power. It truly is what life is all about. What we do with our time makes us who we are. ** No, I haven't been drinking!

Between having a toddler, working full-time, working part-time, play groups, appointments, friends, arguing with Quang and getting minimal sleep I am stretched as thin a can be. Weeks, Months & Years are flying by. I have reached a point in my life where everything is starting to change again. My personality is changing, outlook on life, where I want to go and who I want to be. Things are becoming clear. The most important thing is my little girls happiness.

Over the past 6 months or so, I have come to realize that I probably have A.D.D and just maybe I should see someone about it but right now it is fun. Umm, even writing this post it is evident that there is something wrong. I can't even focus long enough to finish it or have a clear thought!! Right now instead of just sitting here writing this I am checking my email, looking up A.D.D. and symptoms, chatting with Scott and reading a magazine. Someone please kick me! Hard!!

Yeah, enough of this for now.

Yes, most of the blog is about Cait but sometimes there is a random post about what is going on in my life. There have been so many ups and downs lately it is hard to keep track of where I am or what is going on. Pretty much everything has been stressing me out.

I don't sleep well and have no motivation to do anything. Even going to work lately is a huge pain. There are so many negative things going on there that I don't even want to face the reality of it right now. I have enough of that crap happening at home.

One positive thing (besides Cait) are the friends I have made. An earlier post shows kayaking, I have more things to write about but some people from work and others from my Mom's group have really kept me sane. A huge Thanks to Susan too -- my monthly dinner and a movie chic!

Ahh, I am getting lazy and want to go read a book. I might be back on later.

I took Cait to Mandarach Park last weekend and it was amazing. She loved it there and I enjoyed how clean it was and the amount of things for her to do.

She can reach in drawers, open doors and disengage childproof stuff that I have a hard time with. What is next?! How do you keep a toddler safe? Any words of advice? Lora????? haha

Well, only trimmed her bangs cause I was tired of them getting in her eyes but still... some hair was finally cut. It only took 18 months for it to grow long enough to do so!

Not happy with the whole situation!

Ummm, always sticking her tongue out!

Ready for school!

Cait absolutely loves this place. The playdates there are great cause she can run and bounce all she wants. The slide was a huge hit this time.

I was ready to give up for a while. COuldn't put any titles on the posts. What a bunch of crap that was.

Today was amazing. Kayaking for hours, quality entertainment with friends and a beautiful day. My upper body is absolutely dead right now so I am positive it will be painful in the morning.

I really miss outings like todays. I used to go on them weekly when I lived in Florida. When I moved up here I lost so much of myself. Turned into a person I didn't/don't even like. It is time for me to get back to who I really am. All of this change is within reason though -- no more extreme sports or doing anything without thinking since I have Cait to consider.

I am really starting to feel alive again.

Waking up in the morning!

Damn blogger. It wont allow me to add titles to my posts right now.

So it is now the 4th of July and I officially suck. I haven't been blogging in quite some time but a dear friend reminded me of this and sooooo here I am. It is Wednesday night and the 4th... went to the neighbors house on the corner and now I am drunk. Damn bottle of wine. My ass is kicked. At least it settled my stomach... you are thinking this girl is messed up. YOU HAVE NO CLUE!!! haha. Ahhh, remembering the days where I would do a shot of 151 before really drinking to get the stomach settled in for the night... I will never get to that stage again but damn... I feel pretty good right now. Please excuse if this is just rambling on and on. If you don't like it then kiss my ass. :-) HA! Take that.

Hey, I just noticed spell check on here. You should be thankful for that. My typing sucks the big one. I wonder if anyone acutally reads this? Most likely not so I will keep chatting to myself.

Marco just popped online -- I wonder how he is doing in Acapulco. Lets go and ask him!!! Ahhh, he is going to answer me. I bet the suspense is building inside to see what he says! Funny that he calls me Valeria! Cracking me up right now. Bet you are wondering who Marco is... well, I have "known" him for 6 years now. Really cool guy. He told me how to say very drunk in espanol - bien borracha!!! :-)

What else? Well, I have to pee really, really bad but no desire to get up and go! I am in a funky fun mood. Listening to all the fireworks outside. Wondering where all my friends are and why they are not chatting with me. Bern offered for me to come down and go swimming -- prolly not a great idea. She would get me drinking even more. Gotta love the Irish!!

Tomorrow is going to suck at work. I wish I could explain but it is a waste of my time to do so. To my BF ladies - no more gmail using working hours. Would love to throw in another kiss my fine ass there as well. :-)

My girl Susan is down in NC right now. Hope she is having a marvelous trip! Call me when you get back. Can't wait for our next date night.

Ahhh, I need food!!! Might be back. Might not.

For the past 2 months I have been preoccupied mentally and slacking on some of the things I used to love to do. Over the past 4 days I have had time to reflect and contemplate what is truly going on in my life. I am at a cross road and terrified of any direction that I may take.

Each day has a new beginning. No two days are ever alike and it is all up to me to choose my destiny. The hard part about all of this is that my choices now affect my daughters life. It isn't 'just me' anymore. All of those years of doing everything on a whim has since passed. Each move has to be planned and well calculated.

I am typically a very happy-go-lucky person that doesn't stress about much in life. That all changed when I had Cait and it got turned up a notch a few months ago. I found myself becoming dependant and emotional. Yes, I finally have real emotion again. This is a good thing. I know what I want out of life -- happiness. It will be a challenge to acheive it but it is a challenge that I will easily accept and forge forward. Who is along for this ride in Life with me??

Remember to check the actual post a few down.