So, what's your opinion on this?

Well, Quang and I started fighting again. He refuses to try to understand my point. His parents, brother & bro's girlfriend were here for dinner last Sunday. So sitting at the dinner table every one of them spoke in vietnamese. This wouldn't be a problem if they even attempted to talk to me or include me into the conversation. But they all just sit there and speak a language I do not understand. This really pisses me off especially in my own house.

Yes, they do know english but it is crappy because they never try to speak it often. They have been in the states for 30 years. Am I wrong to get irritated about this? I think it is totally rude. Quang doesn't see why I get upset over it. Unfortunately, this subject comes up every so often when I get completely fed up with it. It is to the point that I don't want to go to any "family" gatherings because I am completely bored out of my mind. How can I consider them family when I feel as though they have no respect? You may be asking yourself, "Why doesn't she just learn the language?" well, I am not sure if you have ever heard it but it is not an easy one to master and all the tapes and books are in the Northern Dialect and they all speak the Southern.

I am just getting more pissed the more I think about this. Time to go focus on something else.


Lora said...

If it helps, I can't stand to go to Dave's family functions and they speak English, albiet their own dialect of insanity.

I used to have to do intake interviews on all the Vietnamese clients coming into our program(with a translator of course) by the end of the day I wanted to tear my ears off. There is nothing worse than listening to a language that you don't even recognize any of the sounds, let alone the words.

I feel for you totally. Dave and I try to do the family stuff without one another to avoid fights, but it is getting hard with Jake around. As soon as I figure out a plan that works, I'll let you know.

Valerie & Quang said...

Thanks, at least I a not alone in this. It has mde it easier having Cait around because when I am at the family functions she is my entertainment. I no longer have to try to find someone to call, or say I don't feel well so we can go early or I can take a nap.

Even if you don't know spanish or french it is still nice to listen to.

Lora said...

there is a reason that vietnamese is not considered a romance language

Jen said...

i would personally find something else to do. hey, mine speak english and i still feel the same way as you. i sometimes need to get groceries when they come or go to the bank.

dh's dad speaks albanian and often when there are a group of them (especiall the men) they don't bother to try either.

i would be just as frustrated. often when they come i just say i need to get groceries or the i am not feeling well.

now that probably didn't help at all.

Susan said...

Umm, why do you think we live on the opposite side of the country?! I wish I had some good advice for ya, but I'm starting to think there's no such thing as good advice when it comes to how to deal with the in-laws. You're always welcome to use us as an excuse when you need a sanity break!

Valerie said...

Susan, that is fine but you aren't in the area right now!!! Come back to me! lol

cubmom said...

I agree, it is rude. A suggestion, how about strongly suggest English is used in your house, but when you go elsewhere all bets are off? Perhaps if Q spoke English even when his family were in the house it would be easier?

No 'perfect' answer here, but in your own home, you should be included in the conversation.

Susan said...

Hey, I'm back and ready to be used!!!! (I lost cell battery, so didn't get your call until just a few minutes ago... I'll call ya tomorrow while J runs.)