Crappy day.

Well, I am having a crappy day. This depression is killing me, I wonder how much longer till the meds kick in. I got all anxious for my Sinus SMR that was supposed to happen at 2:10 today, got there on time and nervously sat in the waiting room. As I kept checking my watch every few minutes waiting for them to call my name I was wondering how much it will suck to have a laser shoved up my nose while I was awake. So after I sat there in the waiting room for 45 minutes I saw the nurse come out and asked who was there to see Dr. Cramer... I raise my hand and then she said everyone will need to reschedule because the doctor had to go the ER for an emergency surgery. At this point I am not sure how I was feeling, maybe a bit of relief that it wasn't going to happen today or pissed cause I will have to go back and go through all of this waiting all over again.

So, I get back home and of course my husband really doesn't say much to me. I let him know I have to go back later in the month. We go pick up Caitlyn and of course he does his usual, constantly laying down. I just don't get it, why can he sit up and play with his daughter or talk to me. Of course he would blame me for all of this. Caitlyn is my entire world. Right now she is pretty much my only world. I am trying to get out of this funk that I am in. Yesterday with Susan and the other fine ladies helped quite a bit, I felt kinda normal. I guess take things day by day.

My little princess is sleeping now. She looks so cute with her doll as a pillow and one little hand reaching around her crib looking for her pacifier. I wish I could crawl in her crib with her and just snuggle with her all night. Nope, I get to be next to someone that snores and farts all night long and can't stretch out cause the cat is always at my feet. Maybe this will be another night of staring at Caits monitor while she sleeps.

I'll try to find a cute pic to put up and try to have nice dreams tonight. To many things on my mind.


Susan said...

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. Here's the plan... lunch, Tuesday/Wednesday. You name the time and place, I'll get the car and meet ya there. And I'm not taking "no" for an answer!