Life as we now know it...

This has been a week of pure hell. I can barely move right now, seen more doctors in the past few days than in the last year combined. To say I have been freaking out is an understatement. Honestly I have never felt this sick/bad in my entire life.

A week and a half ago I got a bad headache and was seeing stars flying around. Around the same time I started getting pain in my upper left side - saw my useless OB for my routine appointment last Friday 2/20 and they said I should see a neurologist. By the time Monday got here I was truly miserable. Severe cramping in my left side, from stomach around to my back. Breathing was "off" and daily headache was even worse. So, I suck it up and call my primary doc late Monday afternoon trying to get in... they are kind and let me show up at 6pm. They tell me I look very very sick and should go to the ER. Umm, thanks. Q & Cait take me to the Paoli ER and they are so kind to take me up to maternity ward right away cause I am over 20 weeks along. The strap me into the machines and ask a shit load of questions. Please keep in mind that I could barely think of what my damn name was and they wanted to keep asking me stupid questions over and over. After listening to the heartbeat and thinking the baby is fine they put another gown on me and send my sick as back downstairs for the ER. The ER lady told me there is a 7 hour wait. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. The door keeps opening with a cold ass breeze, many sick people packed in everywhere and here I am parked in a damn hospital gown in a wheelchair. Q & Cait were going to leave me there so he could get her home to bed and not expose the little girl to all the sickness. I said screw it...

I grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom and left. The family was not happy with me but what good would it do for me to sit in that miserable place till 4am and get even worse? I had a plan in mind... call the doc the next morning and do whatever tests as an outpatient.

Tuesday 2/24

I go to work first thing in the morning cause I am a stupidly dedicated employee and start making calls to my OB doc to find out if there was protein in my urine from Friday (they make you pee in a cup every time you are there). Well, after sitting there on hold for 20 min they tell me they never recorded my urine results - WTF! So it is time to call my primary doc again.

Primary doc gets me in. Have to pay a 2nd co-pay in less than 24 hours but it is worth it. Doc has me pee in a cup and what do you expect... yup, protein. Doc also looks up my nose and feels around letting me know I have a sinus infection. This means an antibiotic is required. While he was listening to my heartbeat he keeps going back and listening more and asking do I have a murmur. Nope, but guess what is behind door #1? A brand spanking new Heart Murmur! He tells me he wants me to have a heart ultrasound the next morning.

Wednesday 2/25
Headed in to the doc office for day 3. Strip down and have the echo cardiogram. The woman doing it was very nice but it is painful to lay down due to sinus pressure. The test lasts just over 45 min and I am released to go home. Doc doesn't want me working or doing anything but trying to get better for the rest of the week. He calls me later in the day to tell me the preliminary results from the echo - I have fluid around my heart (pericardial effusion) and he needs to get with the cardiologist for further information.

My fever started to spike yesterday afternoon and thankfully Tylenol is keeping it around 100. I have started a full blown cough and the sinus infection is now in my entire respiratory tract. Can anything else go wrong?

Thursday 2/26
Feel the worst I possibly ever have. Doc called with more blood results. Kidney infection is confirmed and I am anemic as a bonus! What is next?

So I have:
Kidney Infection
Sinus Infection
Upper respiratory Infection
Anemia
Pericardial Effusion

Yesterday I put in a comment trying to win a bunch of pregnancy products and I won! This is all thanks to typeamoms.net. I am so very excited.

http://typeamom.net/12-Days-of-Christmas-Giveaways/On-the-Tenth-Day-of-Christmas-Giveaways.html

My daughter had her first eval yesterday for her IEP. It was an educational assessment, done in a tiny room and it bothered me. Her IEP is going to be late and the pressure is really on right now. Caitlyn turns 3 Dec 20th and this whole process is upsetting me more and more.

After finding out that she will have to have a delay of approax 8 months to qualify for anything I got angry. Why would the county want her to regress? Why not keep providing services so she doesn't fall behind?

During this eval Cait did very well. At one point the administrator stopped asking her questions because they were in the 6 yr old range. Obviously my daughter is doing very well but I heard all the questions and honestly it is typical stuff that any 3 yr old should know.

My question is - How relevant are these tests? I know my little girl is smart but in no way has the intellect of a 6 yr old.

Hearing loss is hard because she really is "normal" when placed in programs that mainly deal with autistic children. This battle is not fun and I have a feeling it is only going to get worse.

Through this I am trying to keep a positive attitude but it is frustrating. Why don't they see this as a real disability? I can see that she has a hard time in noisy situations, a few problems with her articulation and even becomes shy in new environments becuase she doesn't always hear what is going on and knows that there is someething a little different about her.

Thanks for letting me vent. I am lost.

You Are a Bette!




You are a Bette -- "I must be strong"

Bettes are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.



How to Get Along with Me
* Stand up for yourself... and me.
* Be confident, strong, and direct.
* Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
* Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
* Give me space to be alone.
* Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
* I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
* When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.




What I Like About Being a Bette
* being independent and self-reliant
* being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
* being courageous, straightforward, and honest
* getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
* supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
* upholding just causes




What's Hard About Being a Bette
* overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
* being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
* sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
* never forgetting injuries or injustices
* putting too much pressure on myself
* getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right




Bettes as Children Often
* are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
* are sometimes loners
* seize control so they won't be controlled
* figure out others' weaknesses
* attack verbally or physically when provoked
* take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings




Bettes as Parents
* are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
* are sometimes overprotective
* can be demanding, controlling, and rigid